Being sexual abused brings a lot of different emotions and feelings out of you: depression, anxiety, unworthiness, trust issues, guilt, and embarrassment. These things have one thing in common, they all make you feel broken. All of these different emotions, beliefs, feelings consume your energy and make you feel different and alone. How do I know? Because I have experienced this firsthand.
My situation happened when I was 15 years old, and even at that age I didn’t fully understand what was going on, you could safely say I suppressed it out of my mind. I wanted to forget about what happened, so I tried to live life as normal as possible, but it wasn’t until I got to college that it all hit me at once. Depression, anxiety, trust issues, guilt, it all came crashing down on my life. I would get really vulnerable and distant around my friends and couldn’t understand why. Why was I so different, why was I so broken?
One thing helped me stay sane throughout college and that was Anointed Steps of Faith. This is when God officially started using me, I was the Step Master for the step team. He had me creating skits and steps to minister to students, parents, and faculty. The themes and skits for the shows came from my brokenness, from my testimony. It wasn’t until I left college that I realized that God had been using my situation to help others.
God has definitely turned my situation into beautifulness. I lived with brokenness for 12 years, yes I said 12 years and never thought that I would be ready to heal. If you would have told me a year ago I would be opening up and that my brokenness is beautiful, I wouldn’t have believed you. My story is Beautifully Broken, and I am Beautifully Broken, that is who I am. The broken pieces that I felt in my life, were the lowest parts of my life. They have molded me to be the woman I am today, and I am proud to tell my story because I know that it will touch someone else to help them overcome and BnPowered by their journey. I never knew my “broken” story would be used by God to become a beautiful story.
My brokenness has helped me be a better woman – I have my Masters Degree, an awesome job, own my home, and live in a new city. I had to train my mind that my life is amazing and I that I am not defined by my situation, but instead my situation is just a part of my journey, story, and life.
Whoever thought my situation could be so broken, but be so beautiful at the same time? Who would of thought that God was going to utilize my brokenness to possibly help someone believe that they can get out of theirs? We all have broken pieces, but they are Beautifully Broken pieces that are a part of the journey. What are you going to do with your Beautifully Broken pieces?
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