I never thought that I would find something that I could relate to. Something that would actually help me heal from my situation. Being a survivor of sexual abuse, about 99% of people would say that therapy helps, but for me that was not the case. I tried therapy, and I couldn’t relate or open up to anyone. The therapist would always feel comfortable enough to talk to me about their life situations. How was that helping me with my situation? I always wondered what would be that one thing that would be my coping, that would be my therapy. What would be my outlet?
Would I have to give therapy another try? Do I just sit and think about it all the time?
I had to find something to let go of all these inner feeling that I had. One thing that I knew was not healthy was keeping everything bottled up with no outlet.
I have always been active but I did not start my true fitness journey until January 2016. I had moved to a new state, with really not knowing anyone. I joined a UFC gym and it changed my life. I started off taking boxing classes, and then doing the strength classes. This is where I fell in love. I started seeing results that made me feel different, I started becoming more and more dedicated to being a better me. In January 2017, the year I decided to start heal from my situation. I couldn’t take the anxiety, stress, and guilt anymore. I had a mentor who challenged me to tell my story, and she asked me one question, and that one question was “What is the one thing that takes you away from what you been through?”. I had one answer, “working out.”
I didn’t even realize that the one thing that I had truly fell in love with had become my outlet. The one thing that was helping me love me more and more. Fitness has become my therapy, it is my safe haven when I need to get away from life and from the worldly things. It is my place where I take my mind to de-stress and to focus on me and my health. It helps with being physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong. Every time I work out I feel my self getting stronger, I feel my body change, my mind changing, my feelings changing, and my spirit changing. Who would have thought that working out would be my outlet? That it would be my go to? That I would feel free when I picked up a weight. This year I decided to stop doing UFC, and started doing Crossfit. I also have become a personal trainer, because I want to help other women find what working out means to them. What fitness and health does for them? Is it their outlet? How can their story relate to it?
Everyone has a story.